There aren’t shades of loyalty...Loyalty is black and white.
Every time. With every type of relationship.
No excuses. No justifications. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Loyalty isn’t just a grand gesture, reserved for life or death situations. Like a tiny candle in darkness, Loyalty's presence or lack will glaringly show itself, when put to even the smallest test.
In fact, it’s in those "MINUSCULE MOMENTS," when loyalty reveals itself, that the DEPTH and TRUTH of a relationship occurs. Those tiny opportunities are a precise gauge, IF we pay attention. They are pivotal markers, when all types of business, friendly, personal, and intimate relationships are forged, made stronger, weakened, or severed.
Loyalty creates TRUST.
Trust is the foundation and FUEL of every relationship. The more TRUST, the farther it goes, and more weight it can bear. The level of trust we have and extend toward another is the gauge by which we determine the level of interaction and intimacy we have and allow with another.
OF COURSE, Love can be given freely.
But, TRUST IS EARNED.
This is also black and white. There are no shades of trust. You either trust someone, or you don't. You’re either trustworthy, or you aren't.
Your actions determine your trustability, and whether or not you are loyal.
A few years ago, Lucky taught me the phrase: "how you do one thing, is how you do everything."
THIS is a tried and true fact of life and relationships; and heeding this nugget of wisdom WILL save us all years of needless pain.
Many of the more “notable” lessons I learned came from not watching, or believing that because someone was dishonest or disloyal to others, that he or she would not be so to ME. I was presented with this opportunity to learn more than once. This painful lesson was not someone ELSE’S fault, but mine.
And as soon as I learned THIS lesson, it was not presented to me anymore.
We all have relationships placed in concentric circles that surround each of us, based on how we interact. And we have the power to move people in OR out of our close and far-away circles, based on mutual levels of trust and loyalty.
In fact, if you have trouble with the setting and enforcement of boundaries, think about it THIS way: it’s not really that you’re moving them in and out of the circles, it’s that their BEHAVIOR is moving them. Let their ACTIONS do the TALKING, and the WALKING. You just assist in showing them in or out.
I love MANY. I strive to love everyone. I tend to trust, because I am trustworthy. But I am also now more aware, as we should all be.
Those minuscule moments that show us a person’s trustability and loyalty are PIVOTAL, and they are presented as a GIFT to us.
If we pay attention to those moments, we can draw closer, and forge incredible and lifelong relationships. Those little nuggets of truth can show us the way to some real relationship goldmines.
And, when paid attention to and appropriately dealt with, those moments can also save our hearts from a future ache that occurs when we place a great deal of trust in another who is undeserving.
It is in those moments where we seperate wheat from chaff. It isn't personal. It doesn't have to hurt, either; especially, if we pay attention before we have too much "skin in the game." Life is CONSTANTLY teaching us, and GUIDING us toward our bliss; when we have eyes to see, ears to listen, hearts to receive, minds to learn.
In those times when we trusted someone implicitly, and were devastated by someone's lack of loyalty toward us, IF we were HONEST, we could look back EVERY TIME and see those minuscule moments with signs we should have heeded, but didn't. And THAT is not THEIR fault, but OURS.
When others either protect or violate your trust, either show themselves loyal or disloyal, trustworthy or not, it is in the miniscule moments that YOU have a choice.
~ Dawn Read
Dawn Read has assisted individuals toward a better life for over two decades. When she isn’t writing, with clients, or at a nearby beach honing her video or photography skills, she co-hosts their award-nominated podcast, “Amazing Living with Dawn & Lucky,” found on all major podcatchers.
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