Episode 4 "Feed The Need"
INTRODUCTION
Amazing Living Introduction and Music
Our Basic Human Needs
Needs Span culture, sex, socio-economic, race, religion, etc. Needs Provide the “WHY,” and Drive EVERYTHING – Patterns of Behavior, Decisions, Actions
We Are Mental and Professionals, but Not Mental Health Professionals
What to look for when searching for a Mental Health ProfessionalS
Find A Mental Health Professional in Your Area
The Difference between Reasons and Excuses
What is the Difference between a Mental Health Professional and Life Strategist.
What Can a Life Strategist do for You?
How the Past Serves a Purpose or Continues the Curse
Taking Responsibility
The Contrast of the Past can Accelerate a Better Future
The Six Human Needs (Four ‘Primal Needs’ and Two Higher ‘Spiritual’ Needs)
Love/Connection/Belonging
Significance/Independence/Importance
Certainty/Security/Comfort/Predictability
Uncertainty/Adventure/Drama/Discovery/The Unknown
Opposing Needs Violate each other
“Spiritual” or Higher Fulfilling Needs
Contribution is Outward; Beyond Ourselves, Care for Others, “Leaving Things Better”
Growth is Inward; Expansion, Learning and Experiencing Something New, Becoming More
Needs are met in Positive and Destructive Ways
Significance and Certainty: CEO of Fortune 500 Company – In Control
Significance and Certainty/Uncertainty: Gang Member Mugging Someone at Gunpoint – In Control
Needs drive us to make Choices that violate our morals/value systems/promises and do it, Anyway.
Why We “Twist Off”, Do something ‘wrong’ but we “Can’t Help It”
The Understanding of Our Needs Can Propel Us beyond what Others Understand
Why we Do Things others might find CRAZY
Understanding our Needs Puts us in the Driver’s Seat
Behavior is Governed by NEEDS.
What do Most People Do in Relationships?
Creating Certainty/Security and Love/Connection
We Get Bored and Start Drama
What the Hell Just Happened?
Why we’re doing it and why we can’t stop ourselves
I was such a Bitch/Asshole
Why People live Decades, week-by-week in Predictable Certainty
Why People “Twist Off” in Destructive Behaviors: affairs, drinking, drugs, gambling
How to be Deliberate in Drama.
Understanding the Need for Drama and How to Use it How Drama Can be Positive for you AND your Partner
Establishing Trust in the Midst of Uncertainty
Dawn turns 50 Shades of Red
Dawn Broke a Husband and His Camera
Destroying Trust Injects Damaging Uncertainty
What Possessed Dawn to Pose Nude and What She Learned
The Benefits of Building Trust and Peeling Away the Layers
Feeding Your OWN Need for Uncertainty and Crossing the Line for The Need to Know
The Benefits of Calculated Risk Taking
Uncovering – A trust-building exercise
Connection and Acceptance
Building Trust and Closeness
Awareness and Acceptance of Self
Freeing and Expanding
Trusting Self, Gut and Others
Understanding our Needs in Relationships
Growing Certainty and Connection Inside the Relationship
Seeking Significance and Uncertainty together and on Purpose
Experiencing Growth and Contribution to and from each other
Who Decided it Was Wrong to Feel Good? Neale Donald Walsch.
Be Honest – We ALL do things for Self-Serving Reasons!
Everything we do Feeds Our Needs on Multiple Levels
Honesty takes you from Healthy to Amazing
Denial takes you from Healthy to Sick
Narcissism: The Catch-all Phrase. What it is/What it isn’t
Gary Vaynerchuk “I equally care what everybody thinks, while not giving a crap what anyone thinks.” from an interview with Brian Rose at London Real
Decision making for yourself and others…where is the line?
Certainty In and Uncertainty Out of the Relationship
Re-active versus Pro-Active
Keeping Relationships from Heading South
Why are we Climbing the Walls?
Most People are Dying of Boredom
The Certainty Trap and How we Lock Ourselves In it
The Weight of the Good Opinions of Others, and How to Dump it
The Family with two Kids, and He wants to Join a Band
What are Your Priorities?
Get what YOU need AND Give Her What SHE Needs
Get Acceptance instead of Resistance from Others when Meeting your Own needs
Quality versus Quantity of Time in Relationships
Injecting Positive Uncertainty to the Surface
Knowing What You’re Doing and Communication Makes it or Breaks It
Tom Arnold (Sorry Tom – Short Term Memory Loss)
The Amazing Human Needs Lessons in True Lies
What Happens when People are Oblivious to their Own or Others’ Needs
One Partner’s Needs are met, but not the Partner’s
Feeding the Starving Housewife’s need for Uncertainty The Smarmy Car Salesman played by Bill Paxton Reveals His “System” “They Fall For it Every Time”
“If He was taking care of Business, I’d Be OUT of Business”
The Implication of our Choices and Actions
Needs are ALWAYS Met – One Way or Another
Grabbing Life By The Balls
Navigating The Tricky and Slippery Slope of Smokescreens and Human Needs
Digging and Refocusing – Decision Making is a Process
The Ebb and Flow of Human Needs
Feeding One Need Violates or Starves Another
Taking Control by Understanding What Motivates
Being Deliberate about choices and Knowing why we make them
The Effect of Understanding Our Needs and Others’ Needs
Finding Balance of Needs in a Relationship
Being Deliberate
Knowing Roles and Expectations
Let the Walls Down
Be Transparent
Honesty
Vulnerability and Acceptance
Understanding the Roles to Create
How to Continually Create Security and Certainty
Being Demonstrative “on Purpose”
The ROI (Return On Investment) of the Relationship GROWS with the Contribution
Some of The “Little” Things that Make Our Relationship the Most Amazing We’ve Ever Known
Constant Contact
Open Communication
Carrying the Loads
A Constant Buffer – Protection
Being Vigilant
Checking In
Dealing with Issues Quickly
Doing What You Say
Putting Up Boundaries that STAY and Enforcing Them
Being Consistent Even when it Hurts
Consistent is Secure
Our Word is Law
Why Lucky Didn’t Spank His Kids and Why Dawn Did
Being Who We Say We Are – All the Time – Even if it Hurts, Speaks Volumes
Remaining Flexible to Allow for Our Partner’s Needs
Creating Significance for your Partner
Feed the Need
Understanding Your Partner’s Needs and Meeting them, While You meet Your Own
Being Careful of Our Partner’s “Ouchy” Places
The Damage of Focusing On Your Negative and Reacting Self
Security Needs Manifest Differently
Inject CONSCIOUS Uncertainty by Creating a Lifestyle full of Adventure and Growth
The Negative Outcome of Injecting Unconscious Dramas into Relationships
The Danger of Playing Not to Lose
Applying Human Needs to an Established Relationship
Be Honest about your Needs
Know The Level/Importance of Your Needs
Communication and Transparency
Getting Outside Yourself
Feeding into Your Partner’s Needs FIRST Gets your Needs Met
There must be a Conscious and Constant Fight for the Betterment of the Relationship
Conclusion:
How Important is it for You to Live an Amazing Life?
Know Your Reasons Why
What are You willing to Do, Risk and Invest?
WHY Trumps WHAT Every Time
There Are No Shortcuts on The Road to an Amazing Life
How Committed Are You?
The All-Important WHY
Closing music To Inquire about Individual, Intensive assistance to get you from here to AMAZING, Contact us at www.AmazingLiving.net and click “Hire a PRO.”
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